Last night I saw the new Star Trek movie, I’ve seen all the episodes of all the shows between 2-7 times each, so of course I need to watch this movie to..
Remembering how much Nemesis sucked, I was determined to have no expectations to the movie, just in case it turned out to be crap. But around 1 week ago I got to see like 25 minutes of the movie while at Fedcon, and then I got pretty exited, it looked really good and funny.
Unfortunately those 25 minutes contained everything that was good in the movie, and the rest 1.5 hours SUCKED.
I really hate the new Star Trek movie, it is by far the worst Star Trek movie (that includes such travesties as Star Trek 3, 5 and Nemesis).
The movie has NO Star Trek feeling over it what so ever.. The Movie is BORING and the plot is semi-retarded.
The movie is a Bland Cookie cutter action movie dressed up like Trek.
Note (I’m not a grumpy old guy who only likes TOS, and says there can be NO action in Star Trek).. I really LOVE TNG/DS9/VOY/ENT and First contact, Battlestar, Stargate, and those have lots of action (but not mindless action with poor plots)
Why the movie is a piece of shit
- The score/theme song is by far the worst ever, and I felt embarrassed every time it played.
- All the aliens have human personalities, the Vulcans, the Romulans, none of these act any different from humans.
- Bad guys with tribal tattoos on their face is not cool.. Just ask Mike Tyson.
- Even though being packed with action, it still manages to be boring as hell
- Boring CGI, for example the ice planet monster was crappy, but the ships were OK (exterior)
- The pitiful attempt to copy Battlestar Galacticas shaky camera for ship shots was really badly implemented
- Most of the humor did not really seem at home in the movie
- It is not Star Trek, it is just a mindless Hollywood action movie.
- A simple and boring ending
- The actors did NOT do a good job portraying the characters (Except for Mccoy which was excellent, and to some degree Kirk).
- Bad guy with a grudge trying to kill the hero (Does ST:II or Nemesis ring a bell?)
- Going back in time to destroy the federation? *cough* First Contact *cough*
- Why would Nero destroy the federation? He wants the future Romulans to get wiped out by the Borg, the Dominion, Species 8472 or the Sphere builders?
- A supernova that threatens the galaxy? That is like having a exploding car in London threatening people in New York..
- Being that close to a black hole would tear the atoms the ships were made of apart.. Not sending them back trough time in one piece.
- Spock setting Kirk out to probably die on a frozen moon, nice job portraying Spock and the enterprise crew.
- Scotty killing admiral Archers dog? WTF?!
- Scotty working with a Oompa-Loompa in a Ent costume?
- Making Spock and Uhura make out just for no reason what so ever except pleasing the 16 year olds in the audience.
- Why did the Federation suddenly loose sensor technology? They have great sensors in Enterprise/TOS.. In this movie they cant even see a second ahead while at warp (gigantic overpowered Romulan mining ships, allied Starfleet ships, debris or weapons fire)
- Vulcan children making fun of each other and fighting..
- Magical supernova that travels faster than light
- Using a black hole to collapse a supernova makes no sense
- Why is Nero so upset at Spock, it’s not like Spock caused that magical supernova, he just failed to help.
- And since when was it the Federations job to safeguard the Romulan Star Empire from natural disasters anyhow?
- When he got back in time, why not do something worth doing, like save those Romulans from being pwned by the supernova?
- That scene with Simon Pegg in the water tubes was like something out of Spy Kids, totally lame.
- The movie exists in a parallel reality to the established Star Trek universe.. So why would anyone give a rats ass about what happens in it? We all know Spocks mother was not killed, and that Vulcan is doing fine.
- Starfleet ships are ships of exploration.. The new ones are ridiculously over armed compared to all other series.
- Detonating warp cores between the ship would not move the ship since the matter antimatter explosion would produce only energy, no moving mass that could propel the ship.. The best they could hope for was to be fried with EM radiation. The ship also went to warp after ejecting it’s warp cores (Federation ships only have one).
- Building a Starship the size of the Enterprise on Earth’s surface in gravity is just silly.
- Even if you DID build Enterprise on the surface, a constitution class starship can not operate in a class-m planets lower atmosphere. So there would be no way to get the ship into space
PS
There are lots of other good reasons why the movie sucks in the comments to this post. I especially liked Ben’s comparison of the movie to The Wrath Of Khan 
Tags: dominion, fail, first contact, kirk, movie, nemesis, new star trek movie, piece of shit, review, sensors, ship, star trek, starship, tos, Trek
Actually I liked the Star Trek movie in a kind of brainless fun kind of way.
However, if you want plot inconsistencies, here is one you overlooked.
Nero is supposed to have a ship that is 140 years more advanced than the Federation ships right? So why does it only take about 5 minutes for the Enterprise to reach Vulcan, but a LONG time for Nero’s ship to reach Earth?
I mean, after Nero blows up Vulcan, the Enterprise has time to get side tracked by going to where the rest of the fleet is and abandoning Kirk on the ice planet. Then Kirk has time to walk across the planet, have a camp fire conversation with old Spock, then afterwords walk to the nearest star base to meet Scotty. Then Spock gives the secret recipe for interwarp beaming to Scotty so that Kirk can go back to the Enterprise.
Do do ALL of that has got to be about 5 hours at least. Probably almost a whole day. Keep in mind that the star base was 14 km away from where Kirk landed on the planet and that the average walking speed for a man is 5 km/hr meaning it would take him 3 hours to walk there (assuming he doesn’t stop to rest very often). Yet when they get to Earth, Nero has just started setting up the drill. Also, according to their sensors, Nero is going towards Earth instead of already being there (which would be the case if it only takes him 5 minutes, like it took the Enterprise to reach Vulcan).
Anyway, perhaps Nero’s ship isn’t that fast, or it takes him 5 hours or more to set up the drill. But both of those are hard to believe if his ship really is 140 years ahead of the Enterprise.
So yeah there are plot holes. But to be honest they are no more egregious than the ones in Enterprise. For example, meeting the Ferengi. If the Enterprise met the Ferengi once, then why are they NEVER encountered in Star Trek TOS which is some 150 years later?
I agree that the new movie wasn’t the greatest, but you tried, you could find DOZENS of things wrong with every single one of the star trek movies.
can you find a huge amount of things wrong with saaaay.. Star trek 2, that makes that movie a piece of crap?
A few mistakes in any movie can be forgiven, but this movie was riddled in errors, counterfactuals, and devoid of any continuity in Roddenberry’s story line. Fans of Star Trek expect better.
This Movie was a suck fest! Why the hell would future Spock hide in an ice cave when he knew a federation base was within walking distance? Wouldn’t it make better sense if Kirk’s pod landed at the base and he hooked up with Scottie and Spock there? He still could have been attacked and saved, “Are ya daft man! didn’ you hear the bonny warning to stay in the pod?” Then Scottie could have started spewing technical jargon about the life pod’s threat detection and stealth capabilities and Kirk could have ignored him.
The old Enterprise could tunnel into a planet with it’s Phasers why would a Mining ship from 140 years in the future need a low hanging dorky drilling rig to do the same thing?
The “blast us away in a blue cloud of plasma” ending was ridiculous! detonation of the warp core and matter/anti-matter pods without minimum safe distance is like exploding a stick of dynamite in each hand and expecting to fly…. you’ll fly alrigh,t into particles. In TOS the Romulans fired red plasmas torpedoes that were incredibly damaging even with full shields at extreme range. Blue plasma would be way hotter and it was a direct hit .
If a BB sized piece of “red matter” can suck up a galaxy-wide super nova why do you need to carry around a bathtub full of it in a puddle jumper? It would seem a golf ball sized chunk would be plenty of extra.
The fact that you can find things wrong with every single Star Trek movie doesn’t excuse this steaming pile of crap from criticism. The main thing wrong with this movie is it steps too far outside canon it was made by a Star Wars buff that thinks his ignorance of the Star Trek universe is a good thing for the franchise. The worst part is that it did so well it may be come a model for the next movie or god forbid another series. I think this was part of the reason Abrams set his story in an alternate universe it gives him wiggle room if it failed.
Here is one of thing that bothered me that I haven’t seen anyone mention:
How did Spock’s ship recognize the young Spock as the older Spock? Biometiric identifiers are a mixture of genetics and randomness. Spock died in ST2 and was reborn in ST3. His biometric markers should have gotten scrambled. Even identical twins have different biometric markers.
(Aside: Why was the ship ready for flight anyway? Are 24th century miners less sophisticated than 20th century tow truck drivers?)
I must say I absolutely loved the movie. J.J. Abrams really revolutionalized Star Trek… he eliminated the need for Star Ships, for a more efficient way of transportation: Beaming. From a modernist view I think its great.. ships becoming obsolete and being replaced with mordern technology. Imagine in Voyagers time during the new time line…. just imagine how many planets away you ll be able to beam 2….
Furthermore he added what Star Trek was missing… the Star Wars element.. you now have the little aliens… Scotty’s friend… it is the Jawa… and then you got the skinny aliens… those that sing in the movies…you know the background aliens… Go J.J.
Abrams decided he didn’t want Trekkies nitpicking him over historical inconsistencies, so he decided to go back in time to undo forty-plus years of Trek mythology in one swell foop.
I for one think he should have his Geek Card revoked.
If you read the comic book “Countdown” it resolves a significant amount of plot holes that you are talking about and yes it is canon, it was sanctioned by paramount to be a prequal to the movie. As for the others, I have addressed some of them below:
The sensors could have been blocked by the same reason that transporters and communcation devices were blocked: the high energy pulse that was cutting a hole through a planet’s crust.
Romulans have always been extra spiteful towards the federation and vulcan. Destroying both would be the ultimate reward. Romulans even traded technology with the Klingons(who are alsy their enemy) to gain dominance over the Federation.
The super nova is explained in countdown. It absorves a dilithium moon that causes it to be abnormal.
An artificial black hole created from “red matter” would work differently than a natural one. Similar to the Romulans creating an artificial black hole to power the War Birds.
Spock spoke of the Vulcan children making fun of him for being half human multiple times and vulcans are capabale of emotions, even deeper than humans. Only through trainning, do they overcome this. Obviously CHILDREN would have not recieved that extensive trainning yet. It is not natural that they have no emotions, it is cultural.
If you think this movie has too much sex in it, have you forgotten TOS? Women were basically objects and sex was even used as a weapon, such as “The Enterprise Incident”, in which Spock was having an affair with the female romulan commander. Furthermore, Spock and Uhurha continuously flirted in the orginal series, implying some kind of chemistry.
If you think the humor is too much, have you forgotten Star Trek 4?
Yes, the technology and weaponry is much more advanced than the original, that is a given, but is very unrealistic to have the original enterprise’s design flying around in a 2009 scifi movie. The ship looks more advanced than the Enterprise NX-01 and less advanced than its successors(with all of the piping, exposed mechanisms of the ship, and use of push button interfaces). If they used the orginal design, fans would have been complaining about how the NX-01 looks more advanced than NCC 1701.
The aliens did not act human. The Romulan clearly lacked any human morals and had a traditional xenophobic romulan superiority complex. The Vulcans also had the traditional logical and condescending view towards humanity. In TOS, the Klingons were nothing more than caucasions in black-face that acting VERY human, “My dear, captain Kirk!” what modern Klingon would say that! Yes ENT explains this, but you can not deny that this was a lack of forsight in how an alien culture would act in relation to human.
If you really think the plot was that shallow, then you need to review many episodes of TOS, such as the Trouble with Tribbles or Plato’s Children, both considerd fan favorites and both lacking any moral substance other than an entertaining show and a wonderful vision of the future, both of which were present in this movie.
Nerdy fans, who obsess over every little detail is the reason why the show was cancelled. You need to just enjoy the movie and get over yourself…
I did read Countdown, unfortunately.
The energy beam was not active when they flew into the debries was it?
And who filed right into a area of space they know nothing about, if their sensors are registering so much energy that they cant see stuff?
Would it kill them to come out of warp 1 km further away?
He’s destroying the two planets in a universe that has nothing to do with him, so it’s technically not even revenge.. But then again he’s possibly quite crazy so there’s hard to understand what he is thinking.
A black hole is a black hole, but then again most sci fi shows are filled with bad physics, and can throw in just about anything to work with the plot they are going with.
I’ve not mentioned sex, I’ve just pointed out what a tacky and cheap move it was to have Uhura and Spock make out.
I LOVE humor, if done correctly and aimed at people over the age of 15.
Of course there are bad episodes, which “wonderful vision of the future” were present in the movie?
So that’s the reason it was canceled? thanks for that little bit of trivia. I thought the loyal fans resulted in over 700 episodes of star trek and a ton of books/fan fiction/games/etc..
I’m pretty sure I will never enjoy that movie, unless I receive a serious and debilitating blow to the head. If I ever receive a copy of the movie I could enjoy burning it, or using it as a Frisbee / coaster I guess.
You obviously don”t care about the science of Star Trek, having an alternate universe is one thing, but the science should stay the same.
All the inconsistencies exp (takes 10 minuits to reach Volcan & 5 hours to get back) and so many more and cannon noway, they will say anything to sell you the movie and I guessed it worked on most people but if you analize this flick, you will see that it was all brainless action.
The only thing this movie had was action, no depth,
no vision, no meaning. this movie was made for a young audiance that does not understand the concept of science even if it is science fiction.
This movie was made to moved so fast so that people cannot see all the
supidities and mistakes it had. If that is the secreat of a good movie I think the future of Star Trek stinks.
My god i aggree with your post 100%. So much that i dont even know where to begin..
I never liked TOS but was a die hard fan of TNG, DS9, VOG, THE MOVIES, even Enterprise. This movie completely erased the timeline..
The movie visually was great, and there is things I could have let slide for example:
The enterprise being built when he was a teenager.
The enterprise being built on land (even though all starfleet ships are built a Utopia Plantitia: sorry about the spelling)
I could even let it slide that a mining ship can be so outfitted that it was a warship.
But what i cannot let slide is:
Kirk a fresh out of school cadet who cheated on his test automatically gets bumped up to first officer.
Non of the fleet was guarding earth, head quarters of the federation.
Non of the fleet was guarding Vulcan, a head planet in the federation.
Uhora hooking up with spock.
Chekov was a complete joke. made me cringe everythime he spoke.
Spock coming back in time not to stop the destruction of his planet or fix the error in the timeline, but to make sure kirk and him become buddies.
scotty happens to be on that ice planet.
Nero has 150 years to prepare Romulus from being destroyed, but instead he decides to destroy the fed instead. AHH genius without the fed Romulus would be destroyed in the future either by the Borg or the Dominion. Or the Klingon’s wouldn’t be held back all those years and would have took over the alpha quadrant.
Vulcan was destroyed. Making all previous movies and tv ep with vulcan in it irrelevant. Which in turn erases Commander Tuvok from the timeline since he was born on vulcan.
I dont know how they are going redo Kahn since he had a prominent beef with Vulcan, not a planet that was made or founded for a bunch of Vulcan refugees.
Why in the world are they flying around with gallons of red matter.. if it only takes a drop to cause a black whole.. if a real enemy got a whole of that, the galaxy would be in trouble.
Im pretty sure in TOS timeline and before they had not yet made first contact with Cardassians, but Uhora ordered Cardassian ale at the bar.
They made the Romuluns of the 24th century to be some evil looking orks with tattoos. But around that time Romulus has a some what uneasy peace treaty with the federation, and the Klingon to protect the alpha quadrant from outside treats. ie the dominion, the Borg.
If their trying to escape a singularity why would they dump their warp core???.. They wouldn’t have the speed to escape it, let alone the blast.
Why is their a cannon in IOWA.
Why would you leave your keys to a 1950’s Corvette, which lasted 3 centuries a third world war, and the scrap yard, where a lil kid can take it up and drive it.
Man there is soo much things to list that was wrong with this movie.
If they wanted to revamp it they should have had a regular story line explaining how they came together.. They did not need to put time travel in it. Nemoy did not need to be in this movie. His whole purpose of this movie was to explain that the other time line and other shows is no longer relevant. Nemoy should be pissed that Abrams did this.
What was the point of spoks mother dieing.. What was the point of this entire movie.
Really when i think back about it, it was just so that Abrams could remake a franchise to make a few bucks.. Disregarding the fans.. Disregarding Gene R. Disregarding Rick B. Disregarding the movies, video games, and books. And just take a big shit on the time line/Universe of star trek.
And to all the Trekkers who like this movie, please please go and watch TOS all the way to Voyager.. and then you will hate this movie with a passion.. Cause basically this movie erased 40 years of franchise, 200 years of story time line..
JJ Abrams is an asshole. I for one will be boycotting any thing he is a part of.. One thing this movie has done for me is show me what he is about. eff him, eff his movies, and i hope he doesnt touch anything to do with any scifi show again.
I have to agree. The movie was a piece of crap. Plot holes, silly no basis story and Leonard Nimoy truly sold out on this one!
What were you thinking Leonard? I have ZERO respect for the man now.
I agree with most of the negative reviews of the new Star Trek Movie. I have like most watched all of the original series episodes including the next generation and part of the voyager series.
The biggest issue I have is that the set designers of the latest movie did not pay any attention the detail of what the original enterprise looked in the original series. I remember a Next Generation episode where Scotty was trapped in a transporter buffer and was materialized on the TNG enterprise timeline. Scotty goes to the hollow deck and recreates the bridge of the original enterprise. Guess what the bridge looked exactly like the one from the original series. My hats off to Rick Berman for a job well done! If the time in the latest movie the same as the original series was the same then the bridge should have been the same and it was not.
I am sure Gene Roddenberry is turning in his grave over this one. Good grief paramount have you writers and set designer pay attention to detail. If this is any indication of future production then you can forget about me watching or going to any further Star Trek flops!
Thanks for nothing.
I agree with most of the negative reviews of the new Star Trek Movie. I have like most watched all of the original series episodes including the next generation and part of the voyager series.
The biggest issue I have is that the set designers of the latest movie did not pay any attention the detail of what the original enterprise looked in the original series. I remember a Next Generation episode where Scotty was trapped in a transporter buffer and was materialized in the TNG enterprise timeline. Scotty goes to the hollow deck and recreates the bridge of the original enterprise. Guess what the bridge looked exactly like the one from the original series. My hats off to Rick Berman for a job well done! If the time in the latest movie the same as the original series then the bridge, uniforms, and props should have been the same and they were not.
I am sure Gene Roddenberry is turning in his grave over this one. Good grief paramount have you writers and set designer pay attention to detail. If this is any indication of future production then you can forget about me watching or going to any further Star Trek flops!
Thanks for nothing.
I agree with your number 1.
Movie rebooters and sequelers in hollywood need to learn, replacing music in a movie is worse than removing a character as music is 89% of a movie.
Where would star wars or Indiana jones or Jaws be without thier music.
As I get older and watch the franchises I grew up on as a 30 something its sad to see them removing terrific music from great franchises then blaming actors for thier dwindling. (Im dreading tron 2.0 for removing wendy carlos’s score).
I love the cast in this, pegg, quinto, urban and checkov all shine, uhura and pine I did not care (not as great as nichols or shatner) for as well as the actor who played sulu (whos great in Harold and Kumar). I didnt mind the story although they could have directly tied it to star trek 2 and had spock using the genisis device on the romulans star. Time travel movies I love but always are flawed (why doesnt anyone leave a note etc. lol).
the humor between spock,kirk and mccoy was also badly written and flawed with kirk speaking bones lines and kirk acting like bones bickering with spock (fist fighting in one scene). Paramount I already hate over dumping robert englund in Nightmare reboot and screwing over Tarantino and Bond in Royal. Looks like I have another reason to hate paramount as It is paramounts becoming bland and talentless reboot junkies.
Terminator is an example of even Arnold in T3 couldnt save T3 from stinking as the music sucked for pulling the great brad fidel soundtrack out and leaving us with watered down mediocre crap, salvation sucked even moreso despite having a great soundtrack artists like danny elfman doing the score.
I just want someone to like take the bond, star trek movies past 3 (except first contact whos score I didnt mind) and terminator franchise and redo the frigging soundtracks to these (and superman returns wich was god awful musicaly). I would pay 10 extra dollars for blueray versions of movies with new alternate musical scores and studios would see how much difference music can make over a movie (even by not adding/changing the effects).