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Google analytics (Big tits!)

Erlend Aakre — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 15:05:27 +0000

I love google analytics*, it’s great and awesome in all sorts of ways that I won’t go into right now, instead allow me to present some funny search queries that have all somehow led people to this blog.

*For those of you who didn’t know, Google Analytics is a way to know how many people visit your website, what they search for, or where they come from, etc…

variations of “stargate universe sucks” - 1100 hits
variations of “new star trek movie sucks” – 1800 hits

So far so good, at least there are a few people out there with good taste, but it is when you get down to the more unique searches, those with only a few hits that you find the weird stuff.. Apparently even tough Stargate Universe sucks, somebody on the show has huge (or big) tits

Stargate universe big tits - 13
stargate universe girl with big tits - 6
“stargate universe” “big tits” - 2
big tits on sgu - 2
big tits stargate universe -3
girl with big tits on stargate universe - 1
actress with the huge tits on stargate universe - 1
who is the girl with the big tits on stargate universe? - 1
biggest tits on stargate universe - 1
chick with huge tits on stargate universe - 1
sgu stargate universe big tits - 1
star gate universe big tits - 1
stargate universe huge tits - 1
sgu kills off big tits?- 1
stargate universe chick with huge tits- 1
stargate universe chick with big tits- 5

I can only assume they are looking for pictures of Julia Benson:

Hmmm. I just realized that due to it’s questionable content, this post will undoubtedly attract more hits from people with nothing better to do than googling for Julia Bensons boobs..
So I might just as well throw in another picture, I’d hate for people to leave here empty handed.

Some other weird searches with only 1 hit

why do the shields on the enterprise suck?
– I have no idea, the real question is why would somebody write that phrase in a search engine?
mexican knick knacks
– I bet this guy was especially disappointed with my blog
why are everyone in stargate universe morons?
- I… Don’t… Know…
all video editing software sucks and makes no sense at all
- You should stick to pictures, they are simpler to wrap your head around
best brand donkey balls chocolates
- I’m afraid to even comment on this one
fedcon convention swine flu
- Hah! I see I was not the only one worried about swine flu duing fedcon 2009. Not so much worried about catching it, as guests not showing up
feed trondheim
- I’m definitely going to be keeping an eye out for starving children
jello shot launcher
- Let me know if you find one!
ms paint police
- These guys should have a SWAT unit!

Just one more..

Erlend Aakre — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 18:14:31 +0000

For a non-Catholic this blog sure has many pictures of the pope..

But I promise this will be the last (at least for a month).

This image needs no caption

Crazy cereal

Erlend Aakre — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 22:14:37 +0000

Damn, look at this messed up cereal box Stacy bought today.. It’s going to freak me out every morning for the next couple of weeks.

More lol’s

Erlend Aakre — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 21:29:08 +0000

This is the last one.. I promise (muhaha!)

Brushie Brushie Buffy

Erlend Aakre — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 18:19:01 +0000

Swedish police sketch

Erlend Aakre — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 20:32:04 +0000

Wow, I just saw this in the paper, apparently the Swedish police uses paint to catch killers.

This picture looks like something made by Ivo Caprino (Norwegian puppeteer).

Engrish Focalprice.com

Erlend Aakre — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:02:31 +0000

There’s a Hong Kong based company that sells lots of cheap stuff (free shipping), I recently ordered something awesome there (picture will be posted when I get the item).

I however noticed some rather comical translations / bizarre statements on many of the item descriptions

“Provide ultra comfortable touch feeling for your grapping” -Ipod cover
“The USB wire is long enough for you” -Keyboard
“It is comfortable to use and it is hard for you to feel tired” -Same Keyboard
“.. makes it resistant to dirty” -Other Keyboard
“It is convenient for you to write some secret to friends and send them out into the black light to embarrass yourself” -Invisible ink pen
“Internet & multimedia make you feel more comfortable” -Yet anohter Keyboard
“No need to be afrad of falling people down” -Wii wireless bar
“Power to the music with a car charger adapter…” - Ninteno DS car charger
“The change of LED color will be subject to the temperature of water, which is more modern and humanistic“ –Shower Head
“It can remind you when there is a call coming and avoid much trouble” -Key chain phone sensor
“Suitable for home maintenance, outdoor activities, hiking, map reading, night fishing, night flying, camping, sailing, caving, hunting, etc.” -Tiny key chain led flashlight
“No need to drive” -Webcam
“Fantastic gift for your female friends” -Comb
“Completely inoffensive to men and pets” -Mosquito repellent
“These professional scissors cut straight and accurately in no time with just the press of a button“ – Scissors
“Chip-wide design, not more secure smooth hand injury” -Motherboard POST card
“Simply insert a photo into the slot on the top and be a plump lady at once” -Wonder Woman photo holder

Funny search result on BTJunkie

Erlend Aakre — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 21:30:40 +0000

The word “speedboat”

Erlend Aakre — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 10:14:25 +0000

The word speedboat has obviously lost it’s meaning.. I guess the same could be said for “mothership”:

source: vg.no (norweian newspaper)

The best joke ever

Erlend Aakre — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 12:06:46 +0000

I just read the best joke I’ve heard so far

Heisenberg went for a drive and got stopped by a traffic cop. The cop asked, “Do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replied, “No, but I know where I am.”